Growing Beauty

Hello my loves!

I told you I would be back again today with another update and post. And I my friends, am a woman of my word! So hey! Happy Wednesday! If you’re a big socialite like myself, then you know today is Woman Crush Wednesday – a day of the week devoted to women you find beauty in. So what better day to write this post than today! I wanted to share with you some pictures my little sister and I took a couple of weeks ago for a few reasons.

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1 – My little sister is one of my best friends in the world. She has blossomed into such a beautiful young woman and I could not be happier with the person that she is today. She will be turning 21 next week, which is extremely frightening (cause I feel old as hell). She has matured and truly shined over the years of becoming an adult and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for her. I mean, just look at her!

2 – Since she is getting older, we have grown closer as we now share more in common. I mean, ask anyone in our family – she’s always kind of been my mini me. But now she’s not so mini so we can be #GirlBosses together and that for me is even more exciting!

3 – She’s always been extremely supportive of me and my life choices no matter what they be. All of my family has! But you know you always want to make a big impact on your younger siblings, because they usually look up to you as role models. So for that, I have been extremely blessed and grateful.

We had so much fun this day just exploring and spending time together, which meant a lot to me because even though we can go out together now, well as of the 15th (FINALLY), she still has a life of her own and quality time will always be cherished!

This one is for you my little mini me! So proud of you and watching you grow up and turn into a beautiful young woman has been one of the best gifts God has given me!

P.S. How cute are we in these photos!? Status: #WCW
P.P.S. Let me know if you would like me to list outfit details in my posts

Deuces,
KJ

Life Update : Blessings With My Name On Them

What is up my little writers and readers!? Where the hell have you guys been!? Okay, maybe you’re not to blame since I’ve been SERIOUSLY slacking on updating this bad boy…BUT I have really really good reasons and a bomb excuse!

Life. Has. Been. AMAZING.

Like seriously. I claimed it last New Years Eve that 2016 was going to be my year and it has truly been all that and then some! Amen, Hallelujah! Now some of you may be wondering, “okay…so if life is so great why have you not been sharing with us?” Well, to be completely honest, y’all know I don’t ever like to jinx anything, nor do I really like to brag. But this sh*t right here, is about to be all about the glo up! And if you don’t know what that means…google it.🙂 Now let’s get to it.

#MOOD. When I tell you that this has been one of the most happiest times of my life, I’m not even exaggerating. I believe that I have finally, truly found the answer to my own happiness. Which is one heck of an accomplishment in itself. For those of you that have been following me for quite some time now, you know that I have been through some pretty rough moments. Ones that have always weighed heavy on my heart and truly had an impact on my daily mood. From self-confidence, to dating, to work, to friends…these past few years of my life have been an emotional roller coaster. ONE THAT I AM ACTUALLY VERY THANKFUL FOR NONETHELESS. Because without everything that I have been through, I wouldn’t have gotten to the place I’m at today. Right here, right now, on my couch, drinking wine and eating pasta (don’t tell my trainer).

YUM! That transition was not planned, but whoop there it is – it worked. So yes, speaking of YUM…this is a word that with deep DEEP sadness I have not used lately the way that I used to. BUT I AIN’T EVEN MAD. Okay maybe a little, cause I would kill for a brownie right now to keep it lit. So if you couldn’t guess, this is another huge success that I have accomplished over the past two years (truly, the past year) – my weight loss and personal health. Now if you follow me on snapchat you’ve probably been a witness to my workout documentation of my body transformation. If not, than here is a little photo of where I currently stand fitness (body-selfie) wise.

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I know you see those abdominal indents. I know you do! Thank you, thank you very much. I knew they were under all that fluff somewhere. So, yes, I have been busting my booty in the gym and eating healthier for quite some time. But ya girl still has some work to do. It’s coming, just wait on it.

PROGRESS and PATIENCE. Two things that go hand in hand when it comes to my work ethic. I have always been an extremely patient person in the work place (actually just in life in general lol). Since my background is in advertising and all things creative, it’s lowkey in my soul to have patience due to the billions of edits, feedback, stages, approvals, etc. etc. etc. that take place in the creative world. That being said, my patience has excelled since college but anyways, my point is I just recently was promoted at work and could not be happier! I’ve been wanting this for a while now and knew it would come one day, but I just continued to focus and work on bettering myself and teaching myself more and more so that I could handle whatever was thrown my way. WOO!

SELF TAUGHT SHAWTY. Last but not least, I’ve been working suuuuuuuper hard on building my creative portfolio lately, from KopyWrite to KJoiKaptures (same on IG), I really have been trying to venture out and continue to teach myself tools and tricks with a click. Being that outside of a couple of photography classes in high school and college I pretty much taught myself everything I know about photography – thanks to my advertising background, I learned to edit. But when it comes to social media and PR, I think I took one or two courses in COMM in college, but everything else I taught myself by reading and from experience. Which leads me to the point of this – I really want to begin to write more about what I do and how I do it. If you know me, you know I’ve been recently obsessed with YouTube and tutorials and such. In watching countless videos I became inspired to take what I know and share it with people because you never know who is watching, you never know who is reading, and you never know who you could end up helping make a difference in the world. What do y’all think?

That’s all for now – I’ll be back tomorrow with another fun post about more updates, a bit of beauty and a bit of booty (just kidding, but thought that would bring you back tomorrow). #thirsttrapteaser

Toodles,
K.Joi

Advice Part Two : Why Do You Ask For It?

Typically whenever I write a blog post I always send it to either one of my sisters or one of my best friends. Why do I do it? Because I need advice. Which leads me to adding this second part to my previous post last week.

Why do people even ask for advice in the first place? 

Personally, I rarely ask people for deep meaningful advice. I talk pretty openly about my life with people who are close to me. If I find myself going through a certain situation or dealing with something, nine times out of ten the person who I am sharing this information with will offer up some type of advice. Not saying it’s unwanted (even though I may not have asked for it), sometimes I just like to talk things out. When I’m vocal about what I’m going through and what’s happening in my life, I can usually talk some sense into myself and solve my own problems…or so I like to think. Like just now, I may have told a fib — maybe me talking to people about my life and being so open is my subconscious seeking advice from others. Hmm…that’s a thought.

But back to the point of the post – why do we ask others for advice? Are we searching for some sort of approval? Are we looking for someone to talk us into something? Are we looking for someone to talk us OUT of something? Do we actually really need advice, or are we just vocalizing our circumstances so that we can boast, brag, or inform others? Like seriously, what is it? Here are some ideas…

Number one…insecurity. Surprisingly as selfish and self-absorbed as our society is, I still find that there is a hint of insecurity in everyone. Everyone is seeking approval in some way or another from someone else. People love to be noticed. People love attention. But no one truly likes bad attention…unless you’re just really that desperate, but I’ll save that for another post. When we ask others for advice, if it is coming from a place of insecurity, we are looking for that reassurance. We want someone to give us a genuine and honest opinion about whatever it is that we are coming to them with, so that we feel better about ourselves. So that we become more confident in what we are doing, what we are saying, and how we are living. Prime example…y’all know I am severely insecure (or I used to be, a lot has changed…another different post). So me going to friends and family asking for advice on my posts is not because I don’t think it’s good – or I don’t like it. I just don’t want to look like an idiot and sound dumb to the whole world (because yes, in my head everyone reads my blog, and if you don’t…you suck). So…there’s that. I care what people think (too much).

Number two…selfishness. This is the ‘I’m asking you, but I’m not really asking you’ type of advice. The world revolves around you baby. There is always that one person that wants to tell you any and everything that they are going through. Not because they are truly looking for advice, because quite honestly even if you gave it to them they probably wouldn’t listen because they already think they know everything and can do no wrong. You could have this person come to you with a problem that they are going through, and in your mind you’re thinking ‘oh okay, well they are seeking advice’. Nope. Wrong. They just want attention. They want you to know what they are going through, who they are going through things with, why they are going through things. And God forbid you give some sort of advice that makes them realize they’re either wrong or an idiot – then I bet you a dollar and a pickle that they’d find some way to flip it on you and start giving you that unwanted advice that you didn’t even ask for. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Number three…need for authority. Something to think about – why does our society feel the need to have people tell them what to do? Why do we confide in others and search for them to give us information that we could very well find on our own? Yes, everyone goes through different things. Yes, it’s nice to hear someone’s perspective on a situation you are going through if that person has already gone through it. But why do some people hold off on following their own gut in search to just hear it from someone else. Here’s a little personal (maybe too personal) example for you. I was in a relationship with someone and I knew in my heart that it was not a healthy relationship (not the first time I’ve been in one of those, another post, another day…wow I have a lot to write about). Anyways, it was an emotionally abusive relationship, and like I said, I know I didn’t need to be in it. Knowing that I am (was) insecure and already didn’t like myself very much, I didn’t need to be with someone who made me feel even worse about myself than I already did. But did I go anywhere? Nah. It took me a while of seeking advice from others (everyone basically just telling me to do what I already knew I needed to do) to actually get my life together and see that wasn’t how I wanted to live my life. Why did I just need to hear it from someone else? Who knows…clearly I have some sort of weird need for authority, even though I hate being bossed around.

So there you have it…next time you find yourself in a situation where you are seeking advice from someone, ask yourself – why am I asking this person for help? Do you really need it? Are you just trying to vocalize something? Is this really the right person to be asking?

Oh and one more thing, don’t doubt yourself baby. Have more faith in YOU. Trust me…you will be much more happier.❤

p.s. shout out to my ex if you’re reading this and knew I was talking about you. No hard feelings lol🙂

Advice : It Ain’t Always Good

Advice : guidance or recommendations concerning prudent future action, typically given by someone regarded as knowledgeable or authoritative.


All advice, is not good advice. Let’s just start with that concept. Typically when a person finds themselves in a situation where they are going to another person (a friend, family member, significant other, etc…) they are genuinely seeking help and/or input from an outside source – whom of which that they trust and can confide in. Now this can go many different ways depending upon the person and depending upon the situation. 

Scenario One – Selfish (Self-Serving) Advice
This is coming from someone who cares about you, but also probably cares about themselves quite a bit more. You have to be careful when taking advice from people with selfish intentions. While their advice may help you out in the beginning, in the long run you can find yourself in situations where they may either hold it against you, use you, or try to make it seem as though they did you a favor and you owe them something. Beware. 

Scenario Two – Uneducated Advice
Pretty self-explanatory but I’ll break it down for you anyways…basically this person has no idea what the hell they are talking about. You ever have that one friend who has gone through break up after break up or had bad things continually happen to them and they still try to give you relationship advice? Yeah, prime example of this one. Be careful who you take your advice from when it comes to serious situations. While your friends and peers may truly want to help you and think they are helping you, not everyone is the same. What works for them, may not work for you – or to keep it even more real, what they go through, you may not want to go through. 

Scenario Three – Unsolicited Advice
Nobody asked you. Seriously, nobody asked you. I feel like we all have that one friend that thinks they know the key to everything and how everyone else should go about their lives. When in actuality if you were to look at their lives and their day-to-day situations, something just ain’t right. Yup, why even do that to yourself? Good doesn’t always come from good intentions, so you can listen…but you don’t always have to act. 

That made sense right? There are plenty of other types of advice people can give you, solicited, low-level, high-level, the list goes on. But I feel like the aforementioned three pretty much sum it up. For me, I’m the type of person that if I am coming to you with a problem or a situation or a conflict, I genuinely want your advice on what YOU think is best for ME. Not what’s best for you, not what will make matters worse, not what you just think I want to hear, and surely not information on something that literally has nothing to do with what I’m going through. 

I’ve had to teach myself over the years that not everyone knows you like they think they do, not everyone knows what is really best for you in a given situation. So yes, it’s great to have people to talk to and people you can count on from a day-to-day basis. But also, take matters into your own hands and bring your problems to God more than you bring them to anyone else. He knows you best. You know yourself best. If someone is giving you advice and you feel it doesn’t quite fit your character, you don’t have to take it! No questions asked. 

Self Love

Learning the importance of self-worth and self-love has been one of the best things to happen to me this year. I have always been a selfless person and tried my best to be that person that is making everyone happy. And while doing that is never a bad thing, it can be quite exhausting and tiring. So this year I’ve made a point to, for the first time in a long time, add myself to the list of people I’d like to make happy. Sometimes in life you can get distracted by people and things going on that you forget what your true purpose is and what genuinely makes you happy.
The first and most important step of Self Love to me is body image. There are so many times that I look at myself, and while knowing that I still have a lot to work on, I am so proud of myself. If you were to know me and look and how I looked and the way I carried myself, even just over a year ago…you would be too. I have been working on being confident in who I am and how I carry myself that it’s only going to get better from here. My goal in life has to always been to make people see the beauty that I see in them, to make people feel happy and special. Somehow along that path, I forgot about myself. But now that I am back and ready to make myself more of a priority, there is no room for criticism.
I purposefully decided to post these two photos for two reasons; the first being that the first image made me see how proud of my body that I am. No, it’s not perfect, but I am finally comfortable with it and will say that I look the best I’ve probably ever looked in my life. The second being, the second photo shows that I still have some work to do (or I could have just worn spanx lol). My point is this…I used to be so afraid of what people thought of me and while I knew what I needed to fix, I would let my fear of others thoughts stop me. Now that I am vocalizing it myself and learning to love myself more and more everyday, whatever others have to say about me cannot and will not stop me from getting to the place where I need to be. Being the happiest that I need to be, and channeling my inner Khloe Kardashian body that is somewhere deep down inside of my heart LOL.

I hope that this inspires you to love yourself a bit more everyday and be one of your biggest fans, because if you don’t love yourself…how do you expect someone else to?

Social Influence : Part I

It’s taken me a long time to get around to writing this post for many reasons, and even though I’m sitting here finally doing it, it’s still going to be a bit difficult. One of the reasons that this subject matter is a bit sensitive to me is because of my love hate relationship with social media. And two being, I don’t want to offend anyone (ironically). For those of you that know me on a more personal level know that I have been working in social media and marketing for over five years. While I truly enjoy my career and have a deep passion for it, the content and environment of social media as a whole tends to pose a frequent issue with me. And here is why.

Now I’ve mentioned previously how I have grown up in the entertainment industry all of my life and have been surrounded by the media since I can remember. I am extremely aware of just how powerful the media and entertainment industry can be; while still doing what I want and being who I want, it can still be a bit scary at times. That being said, I have always tried to pride myself on being the person that I am both on and offline. Which brings me to the first issue that I have with social media. I’m sure a lot of people will be offended by what I have to say, but I’m not too sure I want to apologize just yet.

True to my soul, I feel as though we currently live in a selfish, self-absorbed and fake world when it comes to social media. There are so many people out in the world who will post one thing saying that this is a representation of who they are, and then turn around and demonstrate a completely different character. And don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun with memes, quotes, and (to be quite frank) ignorant ass posts, because even I’m guilty of it – it’s entertaining. But my issue is with people who create this persona and image of who they think that they are, and who they try to be, and how they see themselves, but then in reality it’s not all that it’s hyped up to be. Because truth be told there are also so many people in this world who believe everything that they see and read on the internet, but let’s not get started on that issue.

My point being…I know for a fact that I am not perfect, I know that I have issues that I need to work on, I know that there are probably a handful of things I could change about myself to make me a better person. But at the end of the day, who I am on social media…is who I am in my heart. Yes, I edit my pictures to feel more confident about the way I look (not everybody is Beyoncé – but apparently she edits hers too lol). Yes, I post ignorant things on Instagram and Snapchat (pause – part of that is due to the fact that I just am ignorant at times and I take full responsibility for my ratchetness lol). But at the end of the day, the thing that I pride myself on is that when people meet me in person, they aren’t surprised. I don’t have to try to be someone or something that I’m not. Because of the way that I present myself online, that’s already been established. I find it funny, and actually quite flattering, when I’m out and people know me by my Instagram (which is truly hilarious to me because…um I’m not popping like that lol).

I cannot tell you how many people I know both on and off social media that it’s almost like knowing two different people. They create this persona and character online, and truth be told I don’t know what the reasoning for it is. It could be my own ignorance or stupidity, but I just don’t see the point. What is the end game? What are you getting from this identity? If it’s fame, power, popularity or anything of that nature, I just don’t see why someone would want to build a brand or establish themselves based upon something that is false and not true to self. I see people online and almost laugh because in my head when we’re engaging on a personal level, you’re a totally different person. I find it hysterical that there are people out there who think you are one way when deep down (or not even that deep actually, just behind a social media handle) you’re really not.

So my point is…take note and just be aware of how you want to present yourself to the world. Because as ugly as it can be, it’s so much more beautiful when you don’t have anything to hide or be afraid of. If you’re not comfortable in your own skin and use social media as a place to hide behind, than I suppose I get it (maaaaaaybe). But don’t be so afraid of who you truly are that you feel as though you need to be someone else to everyone else just to make a point or be noticed.

This was a little longer than I thought (go figure), so I’ll just make my social rant a little mini series and speak on the rest at a later time. Stay tuned…

KJKaptures…

Well…I finally did it. I stopped being worried about what people would think, stopped procrastinating, stopped being afraid, stopped blocking my blessings and finally started following a passion of mine. I have been studying photography and taking pictures just for fun for over five years now and now that I have a deeper feeling to pursue it a bit more, I’ve launched KJKaptures.

KJoiKaptures gives you a perspective on how I view the things I find beauty in; whether it be people, places, objects or activities. My goal is to Kapture and present every moment to you as if you were a part of it. 

You can follow me on Instagram here. I hope you enjoy it❤