Self Love

Learning the importance of self-worth and self-love has been one of the best things to happen to me this year. I have always been a selfless person and tried my best to be that person that is making everyone happy. And while doing that is never a bad thing, it can be quite exhausting and tiring. So this year I’ve made a point to, for the first time in a long time, add myself to the list of people I’d like to make happy. Sometimes in life you can get distracted by people and things going on that you forget what your true purpose is and what genuinely makes you happy.
The first and most important step of Self Love to me is body image. There are so many times that I look at myself, and while knowing that I still have a lot to work on, I am so proud of myself. If you were to know me and look and how I looked and the way I carried myself, even just over a year ago…you would be too. I have been working on being confident in who I am and how I carry myself that it’s only going to get better from here. My goal in life has to always been to make people see the beauty that I see in them, to make people feel happy and special. Somehow along that path, I forgot about myself. But now that I am back and ready to make myself more of a priority, there is no room for criticism.
I purposefully decided to post these two photos for two reasons; the first being that the first image made me see how proud of my body that I am. No, it’s not perfect, but I am finally comfortable with it and will say that I look the best I’ve probably ever looked in my life. The second being, the second photo shows that I still have some work to do (or I could have just worn spanx lol). My point is this…I used to be so afraid of what people thought of me and while I knew what I needed to fix, I would let my fear of others thoughts stop me. Now that I am vocalizing it myself and learning to love myself more and more everyday, whatever others have to say about me cannot and will not stop me from getting to the place where I need to be. Being the happiest that I need to be, and channeling my inner Khloe Kardashian body that is somewhere deep down inside of my heart LOL.

I hope that this inspires you to love yourself a bit more everyday and be one of your biggest fans, because if you don’t love yourself…how do you expect someone else to?

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Vague “Beauty”

Bouncing off of my previous post, I wanted to expand a bit more on the matter of self-confidence as it pertains to the way one looks. In our society, beauty can be defined in many different ways. Years ago it used to be so streamlined and defined by the masses. You had to be white, or a fair complexion. You had to be skinny, or thin. You had to have long hair. You had to be feminine. You had to be whatever everyone else in the media classified as beautiful. When someone said that a woman was beautiful, a certain image popped into your head of what you considered to be beautiful. An image portraying what beautiful women typically looked like.

But now you are starting to see so many different varieties of women that are all beautiful within themselves. You have thick women of all shapes and sizes. You have androgynous women mixing up their hairstyles and fashion. You have women looking like every walking complexion out of a Crayola box…and the list goes on. So now when the word beauty comes to mind, you can’t just classify it to one look, one woman. It’s so many different things. And for that, I have to say I’ve never been more excited. While there are still celebrities and females being idolized based upon their looks, if you were to look at the cover of a magazine today and compare it to one from at least forty years ago. You could surely point out at least 20 differences. I guarantee it.

So my wish today is that whatever we are doing, whatever we are changing…I hope we can keep it up as a society. There’s no need to be trapped inside of this image of beauty. Be who you are. Wear what you want. Look how you please. But just always remember that beauty no longer has one definition….you now have the ability to define it yourself.

Life Love Lessons

“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”

It’s taken me years to become the woman who I am today. And I mean that in all aspects of my life, things have changed and improved. I used to be so unsure of myself and things happening in my life, but as of late I am confident in saying that I’ve finally gotten a grasp on who I am, what I deserve, and what I want to become.

Taking a closer look, I’ll start from the inside and work my way out. This past year I have taken a lot of time to work on shaping my thoughts to be more positive and encouraging. I’ve looked into different methods to help with that process as well – meditation, therapy, journalism, and self-reflection. All of which have had a serious impact on my thought process. I have learned that even with all my insecurities, and trust me there are (were) tons, I still have managed to acquire a big ego. Now when I first was told this/learned this, I was a bit taken back. Because how can one have a big ego but be filled with insecurities? And after dissecting what exactly both of those mean, this is the conclusion that I came to. In my heart I know who I am and what I am; so therefore I am confident and have a big ego in what I can offer. But the way others view me doesn’t always reflect the way I view myself; therefore making me insecure about what I am and who I am.

That being said I’ve made the choice to push myself in being more positive about who I am. Just because one person may not like something about you, does not mean that it is a flaw. I’ve continuously trapped myself inside of this bubble of trying to please everyone around me – whether it’s in the workplace, personal relationships, friendships, etc. And while it’s not a bad thing to be a selfless person, I’ve come to realize that putting yourself first, is sometimes more necessary than you think. You have to look out for you just as much as you look out for other people, if not more. So circling back to my ego, I know that I have a good heart, I know that I am a nice person, and I know that I truly value the relationships I have with everyone. But if something is detrimental to who I am as a person, I’ve just made the choice to no longer tolerate it. Negative energy can really take a toll on you in the long run. So surround yourself with people who love and care about you. People who focus on the positives rather than the negatives, and I guarantee you, you will be happier in life, and with yourself. 

A while back I did a post on self-confidence and mentioned that I was learning to love the way I look and embrace how I was created. Since the beginning of the year I have been really working on getting my body to look the way I want it to look. If you know anything about me, you know that has ALWAYS been a struggle of mine. Through working out, eating healthier, and just taking better care of myself (part in thanks to being ill and having to make some life changes, look how God works lol), I have come a very long way. While I still have some ways to go, I have never been more confident in my body and the way I look as I do now. Well…minus junior year in high school but that doesn’t count because it didn’t last long lol!

Truth be told people will tell you all day everyday, “looks don’t matter.” But nine times out of ten they are lying to you. Looks may not be everything, but they are a solid foundation for who you are as a person. How you appear is how people view you before getting to know you. And I’m not saying that you have to be skinny, thick, short, tall, or whatever you classify as “gorgeous” – I see it as if you take care of yourself and present yourself in a positive and strong way, than no one can take the power of beauty from you. If you need to wear make up, wear it. If you need to lose weight, do it. If you need to get a weave, buy those bundles. But don’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself because you don’t look like everyone else in magazines and on social media. Half of that shit is pure editing anyways. Love who you are, just the way God made you. And if you don’t, only you have the power to change it. Carry yourself with confidence. Embrace your beauty, inside and out so that you can shine and be recognized as the queen that you are meant to be.