Social Influence : Part I

It’s taken me a long time to get around to writing this post for many reasons, and even though I’m sitting here finally doing it, it’s still going to be a bit difficult. One of the reasons that this subject matter is a bit sensitive to me is because of my love hate relationship with social media. And two being, I don’t want to offend anyone (ironically). For those of you that know me on a more personal level know that I have been working in social media and marketing for over five years. While I truly enjoy my career and have a deep passion for it, the content and environment of social media as a whole tends to pose a frequent issue with me. And here is why.

Now I’ve mentioned previously how I have grown up in the entertainment industry all of my life and have been surrounded by the media since I can remember. I am extremely aware of just how powerful the media and entertainment industry can be; while still doing what I want and being who I want, it can still be a bit scary at times. That being said, I have always tried to pride myself on being the person that I am both on and offline. Which brings me to the first issue that I have with social media. I’m sure a lot of people will be offended by what I have to say, but I’m not too sure I want to apologize just yet.

True to my soul, I feel as though we currently live in a selfish, self-absorbed and fake world when it comes to social media. There are so many people out in the world who will post one thing saying that this is a representation of who they are, and then turn around and demonstrate a completely different character. And don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun with memes, quotes, and (to be quite frank) ignorant ass posts, because even I’m guilty of it – it’s entertaining. But my issue is with people who create this persona and image of who they think that they are, and who they try to be, and how they see themselves, but then in reality it’s not all that it’s hyped up to be. Because truth be told there are also so many people in this world who believe everything that they see and read on the internet, but let’s not get started on that issue.

My point being…I know for a fact that I am not perfect, I know that I have issues that I need to work on, I know that there are probably a handful of things I could change about myself to make me a better person. But at the end of the day, who I am on social media…is who I am in my heart. Yes, I edit my pictures to feel more confident about the way I look (not everybody is Beyoncé – but apparently she edits hers too lol). Yes, I post ignorant things on Instagram and Snapchat (pause – part of that is due to the fact that I just am ignorant at times and I take full responsibility for my ratchetness lol). But at the end of the day, the thing that I pride myself on is that when people meet me in person, they aren’t surprised. I don’t have to try to be someone or something that I’m not. Because of the way that I present myself online, that’s already been established. I find it funny, and actually quite flattering, when I’m out and people know me by my Instagram (which is truly hilarious to me because…um I’m not popping like that lol).

I cannot tell you how many people I know both on and off social media that it’s almost like knowing two different people. They create this persona and character online, and truth be told I don’t know what the reasoning for it is. It could be my own ignorance or stupidity, but I just don’t see the point. What is the end game? What are you getting from this identity? If it’s fame, power, popularity or anything of that nature, I just don’t see why someone would want to build a brand or establish themselves based upon something that is false and not true to self. I see people online and almost laugh because in my head when we’re engaging on a personal level, you’re a totally different person. I find it hysterical that there are people out there who think you are one way when deep down (or not even that deep actually, just behind a social media handle) you’re really not.

So my point is…take note and just be aware of how you want to present yourself to the world. Because as ugly as it can be, it’s so much more beautiful when you don’t have anything to hide or be afraid of. If you’re not comfortable in your own skin and use social media as a place to hide behind, than I suppose I get it (maaaaaaybe). But don’t be so afraid of who you truly are that you feel as though you need to be someone else to everyone else just to make a point or be noticed.

This was a little longer than I thought (go figure), so I’ll just make my social rant a little mini series and speak on the rest at a later time. Stay tuned…


Life Love Lessons

“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”

It’s taken me years to become the woman who I am today. And I mean that in all aspects of my life, things have changed and improved. I used to be so unsure of myself and things happening in my life, but as of late I am confident in saying that I’ve finally gotten a grasp on who I am, what I deserve, and what I want to become.

Taking a closer look, I’ll start from the inside and work my way out. This past year I have taken a lot of time to work on shaping my thoughts to be more positive and encouraging. I’ve looked into different methods to help with that process as well – meditation, therapy, journalism, and self-reflection. All of which have had a serious impact on my thought process. I have learned that even with all my insecurities, and trust me there are (were) tons, I still have managed to acquire a big ego. Now when I first was told this/learned this, I was a bit taken back. Because how can one have a big ego but be filled with insecurities? And after dissecting what exactly both of those mean, this is the conclusion that I came to. In my heart I know who I am and what I am; so therefore I am confident and have a big ego in what I can offer. But the way others view me doesn’t always reflect the way I view myself; therefore making me insecure about what I am and who I am.

That being said I’ve made the choice to push myself in being more positive about who I am. Just because one person may not like something about you, does not mean that it is a flaw. I’ve continuously trapped myself inside of this bubble of trying to please everyone around me – whether it’s in the workplace, personal relationships, friendships, etc. And while it’s not a bad thing to be a selfless person, I’ve come to realize that putting yourself first, is sometimes more necessary than you think. You have to look out for you just as much as you look out for other people, if not more. So circling back to my ego, I know that I have a good heart, I know that I am a nice person, and I know that I truly value the relationships I have with everyone. But if something is detrimental to who I am as a person, I’ve just made the choice to no longer tolerate it. Negative energy can really take a toll on you in the long run. So surround yourself with people who love and care about you. People who focus on the positives rather than the negatives, and I guarantee you, you will be happier in life, and with yourself. 

A while back I did a post on self-confidence and mentioned that I was learning to love the way I look and embrace how I was created. Since the beginning of the year I have been really working on getting my body to look the way I want it to look. If you know anything about me, you know that has ALWAYS been a struggle of mine. Through working out, eating healthier, and just taking better care of myself (part in thanks to being ill and having to make some life changes, look how God works lol), I have come a very long way. While I still have some ways to go, I have never been more confident in my body and the way I look as I do now. Well…minus junior year in high school but that doesn’t count because it didn’t last long lol!

Truth be told people will tell you all day everyday, “looks don’t matter.” But nine times out of ten they are lying to you. Looks may not be everything, but they are a solid foundation for who you are as a person. How you appear is how people view you before getting to know you. And I’m not saying that you have to be skinny, thick, short, tall, or whatever you classify as “gorgeous” – I see it as if you take care of yourself and present yourself in a positive and strong way, than no one can take the power of beauty from you. If you need to wear make up, wear it. If you need to lose weight, do it. If you need to get a weave, buy those bundles. But don’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself because you don’t look like everyone else in magazines and on social media. Half of that shit is pure editing anyways. Love who you are, just the way God made you. And if you don’t, only you have the power to change it. Carry yourself with confidence. Embrace your beauty, inside and out so that you can shine and be recognized as the queen that you are meant to be.